For Future Seka

Dearest older (and hopefully wiser) Seka,

I'm writing you from the office of an establishment that has kindly let me suck its lifeblood in the name of 'efficiency'. During this cold winter, what a blessing this has been!

This morning started much like many others have. I struggled to wake up. I gave myself the usual pep talk in the shower and went through tasks to do in the day; do you still do this? I got the car ready and unlocked the gate. On our way to work, I took up my role of  'Road Rule Reminder' for Aunty. It came in handy when reminding her that the indicator was still on after its use on two separate occasions during our short journey and that the traffic light had turned green but she hadn't noticed. I'm prepared to bet that she still needs this, right? When I got to work, my friends and I caught up on each other's weekends and I was finally ready to settle into my usual work routine.

But today is definitely different. After a quick check, it is official. One chapter of my life has finally closed. There is nothing else to complete or requirements to fulfill; it is simply over.

Truthfully, I have never been so scared in my whole life. After being in a system where the emphasis is on learning to become something, I will be expected to be something. There are no rules about where I should go or what I need to complete before I achieve anything, Being so indecisive, this is terrifying.

But I am equal parts excited. I'm eager to build a career I love and to travel; impatient to see my family and parents comfortable and happy; excited to have the chance to make a difference in our broken world.

Although, this definitely makes me uncomfortable, promise me something. That you can honestly say, you never stopped being afraid and excited: afraid to settle and excited for change.

I hope you've stayed true to yourself and your God.

Love,
Seka xo